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Post by tonyaponce on Oct 14, 2008 10:28:10 GMT -5
For some reason I am really grieving Shannon today.. more than I ever did. Almost like it just happened. Like I actually knew and loved him. I dont get it.. I just hope it will be therapeutic.
I have been crying all morning, and "feeding the beast" by looking at videos, pictures, reading articles and thinking about his family.. his mother, his daughter.. how awful it all is for them.
I have dealt with loss, but nothing I couldn't handle, minus one person that I loved so much.. and he didn't die. We just couldn't be together anymore. The pain of THAT is hard on me, daily. I cannot IMAGINE a death of someone that close to me, and I fear the day that someone that close to me will die.. or if I die and leave behind MY mother, MY husband, and worst of all, MY OWN CHILDREN.
I am so sad for them all, including Shannon. Addiction is something that consumes you. You feel in control until it is too late. Then you are done. It is impossible to beat, or at least it seems to be. A person that becomes an addict and beats it is one very mighty person. The love you have for others is not lessened by the addiction, but the addiction still has control and you will continue, even with love all around you. So many others follow in his footsteps every day and will continue to do so.
Teach your children well, and dont do drugs around them.. let them believe that they are bad, because they are (the drugs, not the kids). Dont make excuses to them if you are caught with drugs.. That is the only way to stop the continuation of drug abuse in the future.
Sorry this turned into a drug rant..
I was unable to attend the vigil and I really wanted to. I have never been and I will do my best to go next year. I just somehow felt the grief so strong today and felt like sharing with you guys, since I dont post much. Have a great day... much love to you all.
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theduke81
Porcupine
"Whoever controls the media, controls the mind"
Posts: 317
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Post by theduke81 on Oct 14, 2008 11:05:14 GMT -5
I feel your pain. I think about Shannon a lot and even though I didn't know him, I still miss him. I lost one of my best friends to heroin addiction. He died of an overdose two years ago and I think about him every day. Some days are really hard because it doesn't even feel real. It feels like I should still call him but I know he is not there. I cant even imagine how Shannon's family feels. It must be really hard. I also was unable to attend the vigil. I keep missing it every year. I don't care what happens, I will be there next year. Hope I get to meet you there. Hope you feel better. Peace, love, and Shannon Hoon.
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Post by tonyaponce on Oct 14, 2008 11:08:43 GMT -5
I feel your pain. I think about Shannon a lot and even though I didn't know him, I still miss him. I lost one of my best friends to heroin addiction. He died of an overdose two years ago and I think about him every day. Some days are really hard because it doesn't even feel real. It feels like I should still call him but I know he is not there. I cant even imagine how Shannon's family feels. It must be really hard. I also was unable to attend the vigil. I keep missing it every year. I don't care what happens, I will be there next year. Hope I get to meet you there. Hope you feel better. Peace, love, and Shannon Hoon. Thanks for the well wishes . I hope to meet you there also!! I cant imagine what you are going through. That is an awful loss. How far are you from where the vigil is held?
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theduke81
Porcupine
"Whoever controls the media, controls the mind"
Posts: 317
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Post by theduke81 on Oct 14, 2008 18:35:38 GMT -5
I live in Maryland. Its probably about twelve hours from here. How far for you?
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Post by tonyaponce on Oct 14, 2008 19:55:57 GMT -5
I live in Maryland. Its probably about twelve hours from here. How far for you? I think its about 3 hours or so fom me. I am in Galesburg, IL.
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theduke81
Porcupine
"Whoever controls the media, controls the mind"
Posts: 317
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Post by theduke81 on Oct 14, 2008 20:50:44 GMT -5
Three hours isn't too bad. Thats cool that you live so close. Have you ever been to Dayton,Indiana to Shannon's grave?
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Post by tonyaponce on Oct 15, 2008 9:16:25 GMT -5
I have never had the privilege but I think I will go as soon as I am financially able.
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Post by breck20 on Oct 15, 2008 11:05:19 GMT -5
Alot of us here think of Shannon daily. There is another thread in this section called "Random Thoughts of Shannon" where people can voice there thoughts of Shannon for the day. I myself, have put how much I missed him and I didn't know him either. At least we have a place we can go with like minded people who share our love of music and great musicians, like Shannon. You are not alone, sister!!
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JaysOn
Porcupine
"Ever had the feeling of maybe blowing your face upon the ceiling"Shannon Hoon rip
Posts: 208
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Post by JaysOn on Oct 15, 2008 15:59:23 GMT -5
I'm with ya---I miss him terribly EVERYDAY-- It drives me crazy--thinking of all the music that he would have wrote--music we will never get to hear---it died with him-- it kills me a little bit everyday------just think of all the music he would have wrote..............R.I.P
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Post by tonyaponce on Oct 16, 2008 17:39:21 GMT -5
Thanks for pointing out that thread to me, I will check it out...
And yes.. the music he would have written is, in a sense, a loss itself. Wow, were really missing out.
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Post by cloudy on Oct 16, 2008 19:50:58 GMT -5
I, too, think of him daily and all the music we are missing out on - but most of all I think of Nel - and of Nico - and Lisa - and how different their lives would have been...after spending some time w/ Nel at the recent vigil - her devotion is, well, there are no words....
Cloudy
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vanesa
New Life
'Cause there's a beautiful life to behold...
Posts: 22
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Post by vanesa on Nov 4, 2008 13:24:18 GMT -5
...hi, your words are very beautiful and sometimes i can feel the same pain as you..even though i'm 24 years old, even though i never met shannon and i don't speak your same language, there's something about shannon very strange inside me...i don't know exactly what it is, but there are days i can't take him out of my mind; and i can't stop thinking about him, and is not just his face or his voice, it is everything..i think a lot about his life...everything he left behind vanesa..
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Post by mikerodots on Nov 16, 2008 8:32:19 GMT -5
Loss of a loved one is very hard. My nephew died in a car accident this past year and it has been devestating! I don't know how my sister manages to get out of bed everyday. But terrible things like this do have a way of bringing family closer together. Our Melon community is closer and stronger now as well. I just try to tell myself that I will see my nephew again. and although its hard now, it will be worth the wait! Hang tough everyone and enjoy every day!!!
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Post by cloudy on Dec 26, 2008 19:57:40 GMT -5
Loss of a loved one is very hard. My nephew died in a car accident this past year and it has been devestating! I don't know how my sister manages to get out of bed everyday. But terrible things like this do have a way of bringing family closer together. Our Melon community is closer and stronger now as well. I just try to tell myself that I will see my nephew again. and although its hard now, it will be worth the wait! Hang tough everyone and enjoy every day!!! I just read this - I am so sorry about your nephew - so hard! Time helps...
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Post by cloudy on Dec 26, 2008 20:03:16 GMT -5
I find myself missing him more lately - maybe the holiday blues? I can't help but think of Nel -- her saddness of remembering him Xmas' past - Lisa - even though she is remarried of course she thinks of him and I think the holidays and the upcoming new year is such a time of reflection. I think of Nico - of a Dad she'll never kow, of her step-father trying to fill Shannon's shoes and what a job that must be. Imagine dating Lisa after Shannon - knowing who went before you - ha! I think a lot of men would be - rightfully - intimdated by that...my heart goes out to his family.
I've felt especially sad about it today - thinking of all there might have been and I hope he goes on as Shannon wherever he is and is happy and at peace...but I miss him....
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