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Post by azrael on Aug 30, 2006 17:33:08 GMT -5
Yeah, I may pop in now & again, but I won't be here for a while. Any posts of mine will be few & far between. (By the way, anyone who's going to the vigil have a great time 'cause I'll likely not be able to post closer to it)
I will also have to withdraw my participation in the compilation album for OTHER people's songs. I am in no fit state to do it (or at least do it well) for the forseeable future, I already pm'd JR about my role in Skinned & I'm sorry to do this after already making a commitment. I will NOT be withdrawing my choice, or at least not yet. (also sorry for the capitals but I really don't want to start confusing people giving people the wrong idea as I likely won't be around to clarify things)
I'll miss this forum, such a friendly place - I am so proud to be your 300th member!
All that said, I wish you all the best, & with a little luck & God's good grace I should be back, & hopefully sooner rather than later. This is something serious, otherwise I would not pull out of the compilation album, in due course I will tell you what's happened.
For now, suffice to say - don't do drugs, they fuck you in the head.
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Post by ~BEE~Happy~ on Aug 30, 2006 17:42:09 GMT -5
Thinking good thoughts for you Sorry to hear you are going through a tough time, looking forward the times you do pop in. #rose#
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Post by Meredith on Aug 31, 2006 5:57:49 GMT -5
Azrael, thanks for letting everyone know. I hope everything turns out okay, and if you need anything please ask! You will be missed dearly and I hope you are back soon.
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Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
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Post by Deleted on Aug 31, 2006 8:50:22 GMT -5
Hope everything turns out well for ya man! Take care.
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Post by johnblue2001 on Aug 31, 2006 17:57:36 GMT -5
sounds serous man,hope it all turns out ok for you
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Post by ishbell on Aug 31, 2006 18:16:18 GMT -5
Really sorry to see you go and hope that all will be well. You'll really be missed. Don't forget about us!
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Post by azrael on Aug 31, 2006 18:49:34 GMT -5
I did plan on staying away longer but I just had a big meeting with the specialists today & thought I may as well tell you guys, since it seems I won't be back to normal for a fairly long time, & I'm not reacting well to the limited treatment I've so far had. So here we go-
They can't legally diagnose me until I have been exhibiting the symptoms for 3 months. On September 22nd (assuming I don't stop, which I doubt will happen), I can be legally diagnosed- guess what day that is...my 18th birthday. So far, this seems to be what I'm getting for my birthday:
undefined personality disorder (but mostly obsessive compulsive disorder) Depression Anorexia Nervosa
sounds fun, no? the depression has been coming & going for years, I've always leant towards OCD, but the Anorexia really shocked me
It all started with a two week drug binge, I ate absolutely nothing in two weeks (despite having the munchies constantly), when I came out of it I was a wreck. My sleeping habits were fucked up, all food disgusted me & I had lost a stone (14 lbs) by the time I fell down a flight of stairs at work, had an epileptic fit (or had an epileptic fit & fell down a flight of stairs). I wasn't injured by the fall somehow but when a 17 year old guy who weighs under 9 stone (102 lbs I think) is lying at the bottom of a stair case looking like he's just been on a two week drug binge, it's going to raise some alarm bells.
Apparently it's serious, I have to go to school on Monday, everyone will know, & I mean everyone, & that scares me more than being anorexic in the first place.
much love to you guys, I'll stop by again soon
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Post by Ryan on Aug 31, 2006 19:03:20 GMT -5
Azrael,
I hope that things will start turning around for you.
Because I can't help you in any manner myself, I will beseech a higher power. You will be in my thoughts and prayers! Please come back to the melon patch when things are better.
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Post by ishbell on Aug 31, 2006 21:39:50 GMT -5
Azrael,
My family & I have been dealing with a pretty devastating situation also. The only advice I can give you is find the help you need. If a treatment is not working be vocal about it and keep searching. Stay clean and like Ryan I will pray to a higher power so that you may find the balance you need in your life. Above all, don't worry about what other people think. You've committed no heinous crime, you are simply not well. People have much darker secrets to hide, so hold your head up when you go back to school and think about us as your support team. Please stay in touch and remember you're not alone.
Much Love
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blindmelon1091
Porcupine
Red light shining on a little unity
Posts: 670
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Post by blindmelon1091 on Sept 1, 2006 9:34:05 GMT -5
I really hope everything works out well for you. You are a great member, a true "red light shining on a little unity". Don't forget us man and take it easy.
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Post by Marika on Sept 2, 2006 9:58:44 GMT -5
Hope everything turns out well Azrael, #bearhug#
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Post by Meredith on Sept 2, 2006 17:46:50 GMT -5
Azrael,
Stay strong and focused. You will be in my thoughts, I know you will get through this just fine. Ive had similar problems in my youth and worked past them and I know you will too! Please let us know if there is anything we can do. #bearhug#
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Post by HOONfreak on Sept 2, 2006 19:43:24 GMT -5
Stay strong and KNOW you CAN DO ANYTHING you set your mind to. Most importantly talk it out. Come back to us soon. You are in my thoughts. TAKE CARE of yourself. Melon LOVE 2 U. #heart# #heart# #heart# #love# #love# #love# #thumb# #thumb#
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Post by izzy on Sept 6, 2006 12:05:57 GMT -5
Diggi Wiggi (well, Azrael) i hope you get better really soon...i and all the melons will miss you very much...keep strong and everything will get better..i will always be thinking of you...take care of yourself...you are such a sweet kind lovely person and i wish you the best...please come back soon...you will get through this...i know you will...you are such a great guy...i hope to speak to you very soon...lots of hugs and kisses and ofcourse melon love <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 :heart: :heart:
love Izz xxxxx
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Post by azrael on Sept 6, 2006 16:22:23 GMT -5
ummm...yeah, not doing well- them forcing me to eat & putting me on plans is just making it worse
if they don't it would be easier, but there's always the chance it'll make me worse- either way them forcing me just isn't helping
other people are noticing too, teachers, rugby coach (who moved me to a less physical position because of it)
luckily other people at school either don't know or aren't saying anything- they look at me oddly, but they always did
thanks for the great messages guys, I really appreciate it
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